FAT PRIDE

[Kathy Barron]

I just want to say briefly what FAT PRIDE means to me. Someone asked recently why would anyone be proud of being fat? Well, true. There is no reason to be proud of being any size (fat, thin, average, tall, short, etc.). But, lots of people are clearly proud of being thin. And lots of people seem to think that fat people should be ashamed of being fat. FAT PRIDE is simply saying, for me, that I refuse to be ashamed of my body or to accept shame as a fat person. I do NOT acknowledge any size as being better than another. ALL people have equal value. FAT PRIDE is declaring my world to be a weight-neutral zone, a safe space for all sizes of people. That's what FAT PRIDE means to me. I'd love to hear what FAT PRIDE means to you!

[Krissy D]

I think your mean of Fat Pride is great. I like it a lot!

For me Fat Pride also means pride in what Fat People have contributed to the world. If all the things they say about us were true, then the world would have missed out on some amazing discoveries, humanitarian works, art, written works and lots of other things done by fat people over the course of history.

[Kathy Barron]

That's very true -- and it makes me wonder how much the world does miss out on now because of the way in which fat people are treated and demoralized -- and all of the energy that people of all sizes spend trying to lose weight instead of living our full lives and creating.

[Krissy D]

Exactly! I have always wondered how this world would be if all women stopped spending so much time and energy worrying about their looks and instead put that energy towards something else. it would be earth shattering!

Kathy Barron said:

That's very true -- and it makes me wonder how much the world does miss out on now because of the way in which fat people are treated and demoralized -- and all of the energy that people of all sizes spend trying to lose weight instead of living our full lives and creating.

[Alikaya]

From my fashion overview class, last week:
Teacher: See, those pockets are curvy and most big women wouldn't want to wear those jeans. They make your butt big and fat.
Student: Unless you like your big fat butt...
I promise on Dinoysis that wasn't me, it was another member of my class. But it couldn't be more elquoently stated.

[Kathy Barron]

Excellent! :))

Alikaya said:

From my fashion overview class, last week:
Teacher: See, those pockets are curvy and most big women wouldn't want to wear those jeans. They make your butt big and fat.
Student: Unless you like your big fat butt...
I promise on Dinoysis that wasn't me, it was another member of my class. But it couldn't be more elquoently stated.

[Vivienne]

Why would anyone be proud of being fat???? I have bigger boobs than skinny bitches. Hugging me is not like hugging a bag of bones. I would outlive Paris Hilton in a concentration camp by 5 years. G-- forbid. I do not have sharp elbows. My knees are not knobby. My face is not drawn and hollow. I do not have a "lean and hungry look" :) I have reasonably healthy eating habits. I am not killing myself to stay thin. I was able to breast feed my child. I am not starving in Somalia. I am glowing with health. I am voluptuous. Ummm... That's all for now!

[Vivienne]

My daughter is 21 years old and I often wish that she could spend one year in a world in which appearance was irrelevant--or at least media definitions. I imagine her working (somewhere safe, of course :) in a job where everyone wears yoga pants and t-shirts with sandals--and basic cotton underwear. In this imaginary world, there are sanitary conditions but no mirrors, deoderant, make-up, perfume, dressy clothes, cosmetics, etc. NO MIRRORS. There is healthy food and some kind of very important work to do. ONE YEAR with no emphasis on weight, size, appearance... I don't know what this has to do with Fat Pride :)

[biggirl]

I LOVE what you say, Kathy. Since I recently lost weight because of depression, I'd add that FAT PRIDE also means to me never praising someone for losing weight.

[biggirl]

This makes me think of a song from that terrific group, Sweet Honey and the Rock, which is entitled something like "In my grandmother's house there are no mirrors." It talks about how the young African-American girl sees herself through her grandmother's eyes.

[Kathy Barron]

I agree. That's part of being weight-neutral. Who cares if your weight goes up or down? You are still YOU. And regarding your next comment, yes, how wonderful if the people around us were mirrors that reflected our shining, our beauty, our brilliance -- and shone with unconditional love for us!

biggirl said:

I LOVE what you say, Kathy. Since I recently lost weight because of depression, I'd add that FAT PRIDE also means to me never praising someone for losing weight.

[Cecilia Hayford]

That reminds me of a time an artist friend drew a portrait of me. I was like, "This is so good. Why can't all the photos of me look like that?" Her response "Cameras can't love." Best thing ever.

[Plant Walks]

Thinking about what you wrote, about how lots of people are proud of being thin, it seems to me that their pride comes from
- feeling superior or more beautiful precisely because they are not fat
- feeling attractive because society embraces their bodies as beautiful, with or without their being entirely conscious that that approval rests on their being slim.

I remember feeling attractive when I was young and slim. Part of it was definitely that I felt attractive because I was slim, and had a body others wished they could have, themselves, or wished they could "possess" as their lover/partner because of my slim, socially approved of body. Something I haven't really thought about since.

I would not want that kind of pride again if I were to ever somehow (magically) become thin again, because now I see that it was pride at the expense of feeling better than others, and being valued more than others for my size and shape, which I would not want or feel good about now, knowing the rejection, disapproval, and heartache that comes with being plus-sized in a fat-phobic society.

It's telling that your own pride is about simply *not* wanting to be ashamed as a fat person, rather than feeling superior to anyone. That's a very different and egalitarian type of pride compared to the thin pride I once had.

Good post. Thank you, Kathy.