EXACTLY What Do I Hate about Exercising?

[Vivienne]

I am often guilty of very vague and global thinking--"I hate to exercise. It makes me feel worse." While walking this week, I took an inventory of my body sensations and emotions and asked myself exactly why I hate exercising--and what I can do about it.

Do you hate exercise and fitness training? If so, does it help you to define exactly why? Do your shoes fit? Are your clothes perfectly comfortable? Are you exercising at the right level? Are you training in a place that is comfortable or uncomfortable? Are you bored?

Here are some of my answers:

1. My feet hurt. My feet hurt when I was young and when I was slender. No one knows why. Birkenstocks--before they made the footbed narrower (arrgghh)--were the best answer. Athletic shoes are the worst for me. I wear Birkies and knockoff Crocs--real Crocs are too narrow and slippery. Sometimes I change shoes in the middle of my walk so that my feet hurt in different places :)
2. My legs hurt--even though I am muscled. Gotta live with it.
3. My back really hurts. This is in part because I injured my back 10 years ago and in part because I have weak core muscles. So, I have to strengthen my abdominals and "laterals." Is that the right term? I loathe this type of exercising most of all, but I am going to have to do it in order to decrease back pain so that I can walk--and I HAVE to keep walking. I do an exercise that I call the "dead bug" while I watch TV. I cannot describe it!
4. I AM BORED TO TEARS BY EXERCISING. So, I take my mobile and call everyone I know when I exercise outside. I will watch TV or read when I "bike" at home. I WILL commit myself to finding someone to exercise with one or two days a week--or a month.
5. I have to exercise hard for over 30-45 minutes to feel a "rush." 20 minutes--nothing. I will make a commitment that any exercise is better than no exercise. 20 minutes is better than not exercising.
6. I have to exercise for months to feel any better. This was the same when I was younger and thinner. So, I have to stop looking for the reward and view it as my life-style.
7. No matter how long term I exercise, I feel no subjective improvement in my cardio-vascular condition. Again, it is my life-style if I want to be active at 70. And, I do!

[Kathy Barron]

Hi Sarah ~

I must say that I think you have overstepped -- and that you are missing the point. You can't wish for others that they be like you or "achieve" what you have "achieved". Not everyone has the same goals as you. Not everyone who exercises is going to lose weight. Some will, some won't. The fact that someone is in pain isn't necessarily because they are fat. There are lots of reasons for pain that have nothing to do with size.

I used to have a lot of pain in my feet, legs, and hips due to injuries -- and with massage/bodywork and some other therapies, I have gotten rid of the pain almost completely -- without weight loss. I'm still around a size 22/24. I AM able to use my body! There are many people who are much fatter than I am who are able to use their bodies wonderfully -- and many people who are much thinner than I am who aren't able to use their bodies as well. Health and abilities are gifts to be grateful for. I am an example of how pain isn't necessarily tied to size/weight. I exercise regularly and eat healthfully -- but those things don't make me a "better" or more "acceptable" person -- and they certainly don't make me thinner. None of us have to earn the right to be here or to live our lives on our own terms.

Also, just because bodywork and massage worked for me does not mean that it will necessarily work for others. It may, it may not. Weight loss generally doesn't help people -- particularly not long-term. In fact, more often than not, it causes more damage.

We don't need more people in the world who know what "it is like to be fat and then do something about it". There are very few of us who haven't been there -- who haven't lost weight and regained it. In fact, many of us are probably fatter than we would have been naturally precisely because we have dieted and "done something about" our weight. Dieting makes us fatter -- well over 90% of the time.

What I think we need are more people in the world who have compassion for all of the different people and different ways of being in the world -- and who accept everyone as they are and treat each other with respect and kindness.

I understand that you think you are coming from a desire to help and to be caring for other people -- you think that you are being non-judgmental. But the fact is that your assumptions about fatness -- and your feelings about fatness -- are harmful to fat people. You could examine them -- and maybe read some books like FAT!SO? by Marilyn Wann and Health At Every Size by Linda Bacon and The Obesity Myth (also called The Diet Myth) by Paul Campos. There are lots of other good books too.

Best wishes ~
Kathy

[Vivienne]

Get off this forum.

Sarah Baker said:

I applaud everyone for exercising. Baby steps. This is great! I want to out myself and say I am the opposite of many on this forum. I was fat, now I'm thin. I know the teasing, judging, and criticism that comes with being fat. People judge us assuming we have no self control, ability to push ourselves physically and have nothing interesting going on in our minds because we watch to much TV. (after all, how could we be so fat unless we just sat around watching law and order marathons.)

I believe I can be beautiful no matter my size. But being thin does not make me ugly. It makes me feel good. Why? When I read on this forum about exercise goals of walking three miles in an hour, I cringe. Yesterday, I ran 6 miles in an hour. Please, I am not judging you!!! A marathon runner will say he can run 12 miles in an hour. To this person, I am out of shape. But walking should not hurt! As formerly fat and, might I add, a former smoker, once the idea of running 6 miles in an hour was unimaginable. It took over a year. But it can happen. And you will feel amazing. And if there are more people in this world who know what it is like to be fat and then do something about it, we will be a happier, fitter, and less judgmental country.

The opposite of this amoral, despicable image of media perfection does not have to be a size 24. Be able to use your body. Walk up stairs and not be out of breath. Swim with your children, fit into an airplane seat. These are not unreasonable standards and exercise is a crucial step.

Speaking of step, I hope I have not overstepped by bounds. (You might wonder what I am doing on this forum. 1. I still "feel" like a fat person. 2. I want what I achieved for others.)

God Bless.

[Vivienne]

Kathy, you are such a nice reasonable person :>)

Kathy Barron said:

Hi Sarah ~

I must say that I think you have overstepped -- and that you are missing the point. You can't wish for others that they be like you or "achieve" what you have "achieved". Not everyone has the same goals as you. Not everyone who exercises is going to lose weight. Some will, some won't. The fact that someone is in pain isn't necessarily because they are fat. There are lots of reasons for pain that have nothing to do with size.

I used to have a lot of pain in my feet, legs, and hips due to injuries -- and with massage/bodywork and some other therapies, I have gotten rid of the pain almost completely -- without weight loss. I'm still around a size 22/24. I AM able to use my body! There are many people who are much fatter than I am who are able to use their bodies wonderfully -- and many people who are much thinner than I am who aren't able to use their bodies as well. Health and abilities are gifts to be grateful for. I am an example of how pain isn't necessarily tied to size/weight. I exercise regularly and eat healthfully -- but those things don't make me a "better" or more "acceptable" person -- and they certainly don't make me thinner. None of us have to earn the right to be here or to live our lives on our own terms.

Also, just because bodywork and massage worked for me does not mean that it will necessarily work for others. It may, it may not. Weight loss generally doesn't help people -- particularly not long-term. In fact, more often than not, it causes more damage.

We don't need more people in the world who know what "it is like to be fat and then do something about it". There are very few of us who haven't been there -- who haven't lost weight and regained it. In fact, many of us are probably fatter than we would have been naturally precisely because we have dieted and "done something about" our weight. Dieting makes us fatter -- well over 90% of the time.

What I think we need are more people in the world who have compassion for all of the different people and different ways of being in the world -- and who accept everyone as they are and treat each other with respect and kindness.

I understand that you think you are coming from a desire to help and to be caring for other people -- you think that you are being non-judgmental. But the fact is that your assumptions about fatness -- and your feelings about fatness -- are harmful to fat people. You could examine them -- and maybe read some books like FAT!SO? by Marilyn Wann and Health At Every Size by Linda Bacon and The Obesity Myth (also called The Diet Myth) by Paul Campos. There are lots of other good books too.

Best wishes ~
Kathy

[Vivienne]

I think I am responding in the wrong place--will try again.
Vivienne said:

Get off this forum.

Sarah Baker said:

I applaud everyone for exercising. Baby steps. This is great! I want to out myself and say I am the opposite of many on this forum. I was fat, now I'm thin. I know the teasing, judging, and criticism that comes with being fat. People judge us assuming we have no self control, ability to push ourselves physically and have nothing interesting going on in our minds because we watch to much TV. (after all, how could we be so fat unless we just sat around watching law and order marathons.)

I believe I can be beautiful no matter my size. But being thin does not make me ugly. It makes me feel good. Why? When I read on this forum about exercise goals of walking three miles in an hour, I cringe. Yesterday, I ran 6 miles in an hour. Please, I am not judging you!!! A marathon runner will say he can run 12 miles in an hour. To this person, I am out of shape. But walking should not hurt! As formerly fat and, might I add, a former smoker, once the idea of running 6 miles in an hour was unimaginable. It took over a year. But it can happen. And you will feel amazing. And if there are more people in this world who know what it is like to be fat and then do something about it, we will be a happier, fitter, and less judgmental country.

The opposite of this amoral, despicable image of media perfection does not have to be a size 24. Be able to use your body. Walk up stairs and not be out of breath. Swim with your children, fit into an airplane seat. These are not unreasonable standards and exercise is a crucial step.

Speaking of step, I hope I have not overstepped by bounds. (You might wonder what I am doing on this forum. 1. I still "feel" like a fat person. 2. I want what I achieved for others.)

God Bless.

[Vivienne]

OK. I am responding again to Sarah just to prove to myself that I can respond politely/assertively.

My Dear Sarah,

Please note the name of this group: Fat ACTIVIST Network. This is a fat activist site. It is completely inappropriate and unacceptable to promote weight loss, dieting, or exercise for the purpose of losing weight.

It is completely socially inappropriate on this site--or ANYWHERE ELSE in society--to criticize people for their weight, their level of fitness, or any aspect of their physical condition.

Sarah, it is always completely unacceptable to compare oneself to others or to say or do anything what-so-ever that implies a comparison that makes other look badly anywhere in society. It is rude and unbecoming behavior on internet sites and elsewhere.

If fact, if you consult an etiquette book, you will find that personal comments, in general, are unacceptable.

No one has ever suggested that you are ugly--I don't know you and I am assuming that most people on this site don't know you. I have never stated that slender people are ugly and have not seen anyone else do so I have no idea why you made the comment that you are not ugly--unless you feel ugly.

Your post is so outrageously insensitive that it appears to me to written purposively with hostility and aggression.

I don't think it is possible for someone to innocently come onto a fat activist site, write that she "cringed" when she read someone's goals and brag about her own exercise and weight loss accomplishments. Of course, you do not hope that you have not overstepped your bounds. You intended to overstep your bounds--that is the purpose of your post!

Now, at the end of a long insulting post, you assume I am stupid. THAT is just going too far.

My dear, you are a "troll" or you have atrocious social skills. Either way, you need to clean up your act! I hope I do not over step my bounds:

+Please read some fat activist books.
+Please read (Do NOT make any comments, just yet) some fat activist blogs.
+Please buy and read some etiquette books.
+Please take an assertion training class or group. If none are available--
+Ask a counselor for some tips on developing some appropriate social skills.

In the mean time:

+Do not comment on other people's: appearance, weight, clothes, fitness, make-up, jewelry, exercise, exercise programs, etc. etc.
+Do NOT talk to fat people about YOUR diet, weight, weight-loss, fitness, exercise, exercise programs, etc.
+Do NOT express pity, sympathy, cringe-factor, out-rage, etc. about other people's fat, weight, exercise, etc.
+Do not talk to fat folks about your extreme happiness with your own weight loss, exercise, fitness, etc.
+Do not compare yourself favorably with other people over anything at all.

YOU MAY:
+Pay genuine compliments.
+Listen sympathetically to people's problems, concerns, worries and express concern.
+Talk about sports and the weather with people who really want to talk about these topics.

Your post is hostile and obnoxious. So, cut it out.

I might also add that you know nothing about me, my personal weight and exercise history, my medical history, etc. So, in addition to rude and insensitive, you are incredibly arrogant.

Now, that was assertive and polite! And, positive!

Best, Vivienne

Vivienne said:

I think I am responding in the wrong place--will try again.
Vivienne said:

Get off this forum.

Sarah Baker said:

I applaud everyone for exercising. Baby steps. This is great! I want to out myself and say I am the opposite of many on this forum. I was fat, now I'm thin. I know the teasing, judging, and criticism that comes with being fat. People judge us assuming we have no self control, ability to push ourselves physically and have nothing interesting going on in our minds because we watch to much TV. (after all, how could we be so fat unless we just sat around watching law and order marathons.)

I believe I can be beautiful no matter my size. But being thin does not make me ugly. It makes me feel good. Why? When I read on this forum about exercise goals of walking three miles in an hour, I cringe. Yesterday, I ran 6 miles in an hour. Please, I am not judging you!!! A marathon runner will say he can run 12 miles in an hour. To this person, I am out of shape. But walking should not hurt! As formerly fat and, might I add, a former smoker, once the idea of running 6 miles in an hour was unimaginable. It took over a year. But it can happen. And you will feel amazing. And if there are more people in this world who know what it is like to be fat and then do something about it, we will be a happier, fitter, and less judgmental country.

The opposite of this amoral, despicable image of media perfection does not have to be a size 24. Be able to use your body. Walk up stairs and not be out of breath. Swim with your children, fit into an airplane seat. These are not unreasonable standards and exercise is a crucial step.

Speaking of step, I hope I have not overstepped by bounds. (You might wonder what I am doing on this forum. 1. I still "feel" like a fat person. 2. I want what I achieved for others.)

God Bless.

[Vivienne]

I find exercise so boring it kills me! I cannot find anything to do with my mind which races around like a gerbil on a wheel! I have the screemy meemies after 3 minutes. Yikes!